By car. 10 hours in the most ideal of circumstances.

But with a puppy, two kids, and Grandma, we’ll have 5 bladders barreling down I95, likely all on separate schedules. If I can make this drive in 12 hours I’ll consider that a win, but I’m not holding my breath. I do though, have a few things working in my favor: 1. Grandma has a portable cooler that is not like your standard cooler – it’s pretty much a mini-fridge. If I wasn’t doing the driving myself, I’d be enjoying adult beverages during this 10 or 12 hour drive; 2. The plan is to leave at 6:00 in the morning – on a Sunday – so I’m hoping we’ll have less traffic to fight with; and 3. Hours and hours of audio books – thank goodness for Audible.

But there is one thing working against me. Version 2.0. A true force to be reckoned with when it comes to car rides. When we drive to the gym on the weekends, which is only 2.8 miles away, he’ll ask the Husband and me, about two minutes in, how much longer. And he’ll ask another 3 times before we get there –in spite of the fact that he can see steam coming out of our ears. So you can imagine how a car ride, over 220x longer, will likely go. I’ve got an over-under bet going with my husband. Grandma doesn’t know it yet, but she’s going to tally how often 2.0 asks, ‘how much longer?‘ She won’t be able to put her pencil down. 682. I’m guessing over.

2.0 also gets motion sick. I’ll keep the books and electronics away from him, but that doesn’t guarantee there won’t be an issue. Oh yeah, and he refuses to sleep in the car. On the thousands of trips we have been on, from small trips to the gym to cross-country drives, he has slept on zero of them. Well, that’s not entirely true – he has fallen asleep (in the last 4 minutes of the trip!) on a number of occasions, and he then wakes up as soon as we pull into the garage, cranky as can be, giving us the stink-eye for rudely interrupting his sleep. I kid you not.

But I’m armed and ready for this trip. Food? Check. Drinks? Not many, but enough to stave off dehydration while simultaneously getting us down there without too many bathroom breaks. Audio books? 8 hours worth. And my trump card? Grandma. In the words of Version 1.0 – ‘Grandma makes car trips so much more fun than you, Mommy.’ Thanks, 1.0 – always making me feel so good about myself…

Wish me luck on this one…